Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Something Wrong?

April and I started asking God and each other and ourselves months ago, “Are we doing something wrong?” 

This question relates to our mutual calling of ministering in a framework of revival outside the institutional church.  The question has been asked over the past year particularly because of how difficult it has proven to be.  For me, the question has now become a statement directed to God:  if we’re doing the wrong thing, you need to stop and correct us! 

We attended recently a time of worship and teaching led by a good friend of ours.  He has spoken into our lives often and with accuracy.  We love him.  As we worshiped, he came to us, placed his hands on April and me and said, “People will see you. People will see you.”  He then said that we will be recognized for what we carry and the wisdom we have.  We've said out loud often and believed even longer we’re invisible.  To my recollection, if I said we’re invisible to him, it’s been a long time ago.  It blessed me.  I believe it was from God.  If we’re doing something wrong, I think we’d stay invisible, and we’d have little to no wisdom to share.

One Sunday morning recently, I read John 5 from the Daily Office readings for the day.  Verse 20 struck me. “’The Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing; and he (the Father) will show him (the Son) greater works than these, so that you will be astonished.”  This is the same wording found in my fav verse in John; the verse that messed me up in Scottsboro – 1:50 – “Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree?  You will see greater things than these.’”  April reminded me that morning also of 14:12 – “’The one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father.’”  I shared these verses with the folks that attended Safe Harbor that morning.  I told them that greater things to come is the Father’s heart and the essence of the Kingdom.  Are we doing something wrong by communicating greater things are coming?  I heard it in my spirit years ago.  Is something wrong with me?

Last week I dreamed I was riding in a flat bed trailer that was used at a construction sight.  As we rode through a city, I took a hand full of sand at a time and poured it into the street as we went.  The construction sight implied a building of something and sand is believed to mean that which is immeasurable.  The vehicle that pulled me stopped.  An orange transit bus pulled along side and stopped (I dreamed a few nights before of a new bus in a commercial or training video with an Asian driver). A bus means large ministry and orange means perseverance.  I then saw a group of junior high kids (new disciples)along side the bus and two chaperones talking to each other over the heads of the kids.  I was then in a new restaurant that April and I were making ready to open.  The kids were there, and a gift was delivered to us before I arrived.  I found the box lid.  It had a gift tag that said it was from Drew F. who I know to be a sports radio talk show host in Baltimore.  I found the actual gifts in two wrapped bundles.  The one with April’s name I took to her. It was a bundle of books.  Books are symbolic of knowledge and wisdom.  Something being built, a large ministry coming along, something immeasurable in my grasp, perseverance is called for, new believers, gifts of knowledge and wisdom coming to us, etc.  Is it wrong to attempt to interpret dreams, especially if the outcome is overly optimistic in light of current circumstances?  Am I in denial of something being wrong?

Sunday morning, in our house before worship in Safe Harbor, one of the women who attends and has been wonderfully healed and graciously blessed in the last few months told us that she’ll begin attending worship with her son at a nearby church.  April told me later that she felt rejected.  Lucy (an alias) is just the most recent to come and get significantly blessed and leave.  She recalled God told her a year ago, “I’m not calling them to you; I’m calling them to me.”  Is something wrong with folks coming and going in a ministry?  Is something wrong with what we’re doing that they don’t remain?

Our personal finances are a shambles.  We’re living, not merely under attack, but in a culture of financial difficulty.  We’ve been here for years to one degree or another.  Right now, we’re at a place we’ve never been before.  At writing this, we’ve just gotten back from the grocery store.  I’m not sure when we’ll return to buy anything unless things dramatically shift.

I stood in our worship area last night.  I spoke to God in the dark.  I told God April and I have done & declared & believe & taught & praised all we know.  I told him that he knows our hearts. 

“If we’re wrong, in the wrong direction, doing the wrong thing, then you need to tell us in a language we understand, and you need to tell us now!”  I then said, “You don’t have the luxury of waiting or acting slowly.  You can’t wait any longer.  You don’t have the luxury of taking your time.”  With that, I left the room.  Is something wrong with this?  Is something wrong with us?

I dreamed last night.  I believe what I remember is significant.  In the dream, I went from images and activities in dad’s house in Parkville to a space ship in orbit.  I remember going downstairs in the basement and playing records and going upstairs to prepare & pack to leave.  I can’t say for sure if the house was the ship, but I believe it was.  The ship’s exterior was damaged.  I went out to assist an astronaut putting a big piece of something back in place.  We were preparing to return to earth.  Time was of the essence.  It was as if we had no control of when we were leaving like the ship was in a deteriorating orbit.  There was certainly anxiety in the house along with excitement. 

The dream then shifted to live news coverage outside of an airport.  Larry King was heading the coverage and was very excited.  Some plane or ship was due to land there soon, and a huge crowd full of excitement had assembled and stood behind Larry.  Was the plane or ship us?  I guess.  An airport is symbolic of a significant transition in a person’s life.  At the end of the dream, I stood from the camera’s perspective.  I held a very beauty model airplane.  It was silver, blue and trimmed in orange (wealth, revelation & perseverance).  The plane is symbolic of world-wide ministry or influence.  The wing had come off, and I put it back and hoped it would stay.  Is something wrong with me?

There is a significant transition occurring in the Spirit these days.  Nothing’s wrong with that.  Our circumstances, particularly financial, are changing significantly day by day.  This is a sign that something’s wrong, but whatever happens may need to happen.  Regardless of who’s leaving and what we’re dreaming and wherever we find our inspiration, God wants us to trust him, particularly now. 

My business is to write what a revival looks like, in whatever season it is, and how it impacts the children of God.  Is something wrong with that?  Absolutely not.

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