My fatigue in working eight consecutive days challenged this, but I'm reminding myself as I write this. I am content.
My contentment is found in knowing my destiny and our vision revealed in what God has told us and what we trust will come about in seasons ahead. Without visions and a God-centered destiny, our current set of circumstances would leave us hopeless. We are the gifted, called and anointed. None of that has been recanted or rebuked. We remain the called, gifted and anointed. Alleluia.
The Lord told me my current occupation shall pass. This I still believe. While this is true, I'm getting familiar anew with my level of perfectionism. I can identify it more accurately now days. My perspective on perfectionism is multifaceted and been imparted to me from many sources over the years. Perfect accomplishments are virtually impossible, and that frustrates me because I've been taught to strive for them. Since I believe it isn't obtainable, I'm still held by its grip. This truly frustrates and angers me. When I'm tired physically or otherwise, anger arises.
There's no joy or peace in perfectionism. It can never be satisfied or accomplished. Since I started working again, this stuff arose in me afresh. Thankfully, I can recognize it. I'm still working on alternative actions and feelings when the frustration and anger arises. One of the keys is to realize I'm not in any labor alone. I can accomplish tasks, but its not all up to me. I'm limited by the amount of time and strength every day. My joy, peace and contentment shouldn't be sacrificed for the sake of fatigue, frustration and anger brought on by unsatisfied perfectionism.
What if my superiors are not happy with me because I didn't accomplish everything I was assigned? Well, I do my best to accomplish what I can. There will be accomplishments. I am capable. I may not succeed at everything. How superiors or others react to what isn't fulfilled is up to them. I'll try my best, but its not worth my contentment in life. Perfectionism is a myth, not a goal. It does more harm than good. I will love God, my neighbor and myself. Perfectionism is not worth my time if I compromise love. Alleluia.
Last Saturday, one of the store managers asked me to help him lift a large box into a customer's truck. I met him outside the store. The truck was actually a flat-bed trailer. He told me to tip the box over to the edge of the trailer, lift up the bottom and then slide the box on to the bed. We succeeded. As I walked away, I thought, "He taught me something in which I needed teaching." The thought didn't even finish expression in my mind when, I believe, God told me, "You could teach him about lifting heavy things. You've carried plenty." This brought a tear to my eye. Thank you, Lord.
I saw this quote from Smith Wigglesworth on Facebook:
I see the last day revival that's
going to usher in the precious fruit of the earth. It will be the
greatest revival this world has ever seen! It's going to be a wave of
the gifts of the Spirit. The ministry gifts will be flowing on this
planet earth. I see hospitals being emptied out, and they will bring the
sick to churches where they allow the Holy Ghost to move.
My contentment is found in knowing my destiny and our vision revealed in
what God has told us; what we trust will come about in seasons
ahead. We will steward a place and time of worship where the presence of the Lord will abound to heal, deliver, save, comfort, empower scores of people. Its our belief it will be a part of what the Lord will fulfill in the earth for all people.
There are plenty of things expressed and believed that challenge contentment. My Achilles' heal in the past has been versions of perfectionism I've been taught. Thank God I recognize it. My contentment is more valuable than pleasing a myth. The healing and deliverance of scores in Jesus' name thrills me more than being perfect.
I then saw a quote from John Lennon that thrilled me as much as Wigglesworth's quote did.
When I was five years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
I understand life. I am a child of God and happy. I am at peace and content. I will do my best in all circumstances. I realize that won't satisfy everyone, but I will love my God, my neighbor and myself.
The days ahead will be glorious for many who'll encounter a God of grace and glory. That makes me content.