After a rest, of sorts, I'm back to writing. I didn't think it was important enough to continue, but I've been told otherwise.
I dreamed one night in late June. I believe I was a student in a college level class. The dream was segmented into two days that night.
First day, my class was a small gathering of students. I never saw the instructor. We were due to pass in the first draft of a paper. It made me anxious. I wasn't proud of my work; in fact, I was embarrassed to pass in what I'd written.
At home, which kind of looked like one of the parsonages we lived in several years ago. Friends came in checking on me and my assignment.
The next day in the dream, classes resumed. As before, the classes were small and held in an office building. While the day before, it wasn't as noticeable, each class or grouping of students was uncomfortably set either in the corner of a large room full of empty desks and chairs or curiously set in a hallway. Like the day before, I couldn't see an instructor for my group. At one point, I was encouraged to stand and collect the first drafts from the students. I was told from an unseen source to ask if there was any student who didn't have a paper. One guy raised his hand. I was confused about what to do. I went to ask some authority what to do next. I was encumbered in navigating through the room and the hallway and a nearby stairway due to all the empty chairs in my way. I never found anyone to ask.
Earlier in June, I dreamed of meeting a cousin of mine who's a lawyer. He complimented me on the short pants I was wearing. Symbolically, short pants mean an unfulfilled calling as the empty chairs in the dream before could mean, as well. This assignment of a first draft is part of a larger assignment yet to be completed. I stopped writing on my blogs. Could this be part of a larger, unfulfilled, uncompleted assignment? First drafts are necessary in order to complete adequately the full assignment.
In addition to this, I was in a class in order to learn, but I was still given the responsibility to collect the assignments of other students. A student and a instructor-in-training?
Last week, I dreamed of being at my current place of employment. A co-worker came to me with a joyful attitude wearing a cartoon superhero costume. This added to the jovial attitude already in my workplace. I then found myself on the floor above. It was a bookstore, I was an employee there, as well. The walls were brightly painted. The windows let in lots of sunshine. On the ground floor, there were no windows.
There was a square counter in the room. I stood at the cash register. Beni Johnson, Bill Johnson's wife from Bethel Church in Redding, CA, was sitting at the counter reading and marking the first drafts of papers from students in the class she taught. She was my teacher, also. I never passed in a first draft. It embarrassed me I hadn't with her reading the other papers and never seeing one from me. I felt ashamed she'd be disappointed in me. In this dream, I believe she represented God.
This reoccurring theme of first drafts I can't ignore.
I dreamed of being a student in both dreams. There is something about callings or assignments being unfulfilled in both dreams. I really didn't take the assignments seriously in both instances. By not writing for blogs anymore, I've decided to not take this kind of writing seriously anymore; however, in both dreams, I was a student. Evidently, there's something I need to learn in this writing exercise. Unless I'm a student, I won't learn it; if I don't write, I won't be in a position to learn.
Obviously, I'm supposed to keep writing on my experiences, reflections, dreams and encounters with God. As much as I'd like in theory to write about other things, nothing else interests me as much as my life in God. If you're still reading this, that's probably true for you, too.
I'm back to writing. What I've ever posted or will ever post may always read like a first draft to you, and maybe to me. That may never matter a lick. What matters most to me, right now, is to give testimony of what God is saying and doing in my life, and I'm going to write about some of it. I invite you to read and comment about it. It's what I'm supposed to do. What are you supposed to do?